♥

Freedom♥

MIA-ING (:

konichiwa !
im back after mia-ing for a longlonglonglong time (:

so ,
alot of AWESOME things happened when im MIA-ING (:
yeahhh .
the 913fm came to our skoool !
AWESOME !
i love that radio station alotalot (;
especially the hot 30 countdown !
so , boy thunder and another guy DJ came to our skool and talk bout something ?
and ,
he said that if we tune in to 913fm , we could stand a chance to win tickets to around Europe for 20 days .
and he said the first stop was LONDON !
and i screamed when i heard that .
haha .
yeahhh .
and people were looking at me .
-.-

i love LONDON alot !
i wish i can go there someday (;

and ,
i felt like fainting when running around the school hall and climbing up the stairs for 12 ROUNDS !
qrrrrrrrrrrrrrr .
and mr chong was like ,
"why ur so quiet ? must be tired right ?"
and i show him the -.- face .
yeahhh .
OBVIOUSLY LUH !
qrrrrrrrr .
and he kawl me the loud girl .
-.-
i know im loud and noisy .
can't help it (:

and ,
i ran during the healthy lifestyle !
AWESOME !
haha .
got inspred by WCP .
haha .
*winkwink*

and mr poh got mad with me cos i kept saying london .
haha .
he was like ,
"you and ur london !"
haha ,
yeahh people (:

and ,
last friday activity was AWESOME !
im the assistant duty nco !

yeahh .

i love the games !
and i know some of my juniors name .
and i went 'awww' when i gotta know that one of my juniors name is eugene .
haha .
after activity ,
went under the block near 7-eleven and hangout .
was AWESOME !
and , i really hate the shoebag incident .
so EMBARRASSING .

saturday was reallyreally AWESOME !
went to the hill near christ church there to celebrate my aunt's burfdae !
its so windy !
and my hair was flying in all directions .
south , north , east , west !
haha .
and ,
my kazen bought her bunny too .
so cute !!
and believe me ,
flying kite is not easy !
and it really test my patience .
haha .

and i somehow contributed to the earth hour !
i mean im outside from 6-9:45pm .
yeahhh .

today ,
gotta do the projects and homeworks !
ARGHHHHHHH !

p.s
im addicted to saying AWESOME !

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

never say hi when you meant goodbye .

T.T

saturday , 10:29am
GOOD MORNING !
so ,
today morning is soo TRAGIC !

woke up and my mum said that ,
the old uncle who had took care of me when i was a toddler had just passed away .
):
and when i heard that ,
i cried on the spot .
how can i not be sad ?
when i was a toddler , i was taken care by an old couple cos my parents were busy working .
they showered me with their love .
and ,
i can't even remember when was the last time i meet them .
and now ,
he's gone .
):
life is really SHORT .
so ,
appreciate them and tell them that you love them before its tooo late .
):

T.T

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

shall i tell you the truth ?

WCP ?

GOOD MORNING PEOPLE !(:

so , what is WCP ?
im curious .
0.0

so ,
good news !
i din't breakdown yesterday night .
and that i did my math hw .
AWESOOMEEE !(:
yeahhh .

and ,
I HATE YOU MALAY PROJECT !
qrrrrrrrrrrr .
malay lesson are so going to be BORING .
gahhhh ,
since i don't seat beside nad and farzana anymore .
i can't talk .
ISYH !
now , i seat beside a guy .
aiyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo .
i want to TALK .
*toot* !

i guess ,
i don't want to do my malay hw (:
so , i can seat outside the class !
which is better ?!
there's non-stop of fresh air and the scenery is nicer than in the class .
(:

and ,
when skool reopens ,
im going to shift place .
i can't stand it when im sitting at the back cos i tend to talk and not focus(:
PLEASE !
i said the word please okay(:

today is FRIDAY !
aiyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo !
and i have not completed my hw ,
i have not revise for the speed test and the class test .
qahhhh ,

andand ,
tomorrow is the BIGBIG COMPETITION !
GOOD LUCK TO RSS SJAB !(:

and i love purple(:

tillhere~
`ecctardd?

awesomme or whuart ? hate you .

BACK !

heyloh people !
gonna be a short post .

just now ,
went to library with nad and bro .
thanks to them ,
i laughed alot(:
and ,
i saw alot of people !
yeahhh .
one of them are ,
miss renu !
and im not sure whether she recognized me .
cos she ignored me .

andand ,
i kept saying that i gotta be strong to myself .
and ,
IT WORKS !(:
yeahhh .

btw ,
i hate the word 'assume' .
bcos its like you don't know anything and you assume .
and its like you assume anyhow ?
qrrrrrrrrr .
and that word don't exist in my dictionary .
*breathe in , breathe out*
im calming myself down .

and I LOVE THE SONG SOLO BY IYAZ !
ohmy ! im being random .

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

you shall not assume when i was about to tell you the truth .

smile , laugh and love my life(:

yeahhh .

so ,
just now ,
i re-read my old posts and that ,
i realised something .
that i've been acting differently from the start of the year .
i've been sighing alot .
reallyreallyalot .

and ,
just now ,
i went and read motivational quotes and videos .
and i realised something too .
i realised that im REALLY WEAK .
seriously .
i gotta be strong .
reallyreally strong .

now ,
my target and what i want to achieve in my life are :
1 . GET UP AND FACE THE WORLD and BE STRONG .
2 . ignore negative comments and don't take it seriously .
3 . think POSITIVE and nahi2 negative .
4 . be less sensitive .
5 . be afraid and shy at the right times and not always .

lastly , i want to SMILE , LAUGH AND LOVE MY LIFE (:

from now on ,
i won't be longer posting any depressed comments or anything connected to depression .
haha .
i'll be posting positive and crap stuffs .
hehe .
(:

tillhere~
`eccamontella(:

GOOD MORNING PEOPLE !(:
its currently 8:16am in the morning .
im breathing in FRESH AIR !
wooohooo~

so , yesterday ,
i did breakdown .
UGH .
i guess my mission will be not to cry for a day .
yeahhhh .
hopefully , i won't breakdown today .
its so weird .
i was talking to nad and suddenly , i break down .
GILA .

so today ,
nad and i are going to the library to study and do our homeworks .
yeahhhh ,
i want to concentrate in my studies .
i have to .
i have to take things step by step .
and ,
i must be MIND-FREE !
right nad ?
haha .

nothing to post anymore .

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

im hurt

BOOO !
im back again and again .

just now was shocking !
my cat went berserk and started to attack me and my brother .
its so scary .
and i was jumping and screaming like GILA .
and nad saw it bcos we were webcam-ing before that .
qrrrrrrrrrrrrrr .

and ,
my cat STARE at me .
im like wth ?
cats also know how to stare at people ?

after that ,
she calm down and went to sleep .
haha .
what a cat ?

my life was seriously at risk during that incident .
hahaha .

and ,
ILOVEMYTUMBLRALOT(;

and ,
tomorrow is already THURSDAY .
so fast !
i really got to revise and do my homeworks .
no more failing .
cos i guess that causes me to have depression .
i got to try my best and more !(:

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

im afraid that if i tell you the truth ,
hell will breakout .

random pic(:

so ,
i start off the day right .
i smile all the way .
haha .
credits to nad .
she make me smile today !
haha .
and she have pretty eyes !
like seriously !
i envy her .
haha .
jkjk .
and she's in love with ultra-violet blahblah mascara .
haha .
and ,
be alert !
she's GILA .

p.s
my stomach is vibrating .
so FAMISH !
and ,
praveen and lynna was so shocked when i used the word famish ,
they were like , 'you can speak english huh ?'
wth ?
hha .
so you guys trying to say im speaking hindi all this while ?
hha .
GILA .

but ,
yeahh .
im obsessed with anything connected to hindi .
i was so hyper and enthu when learning a hindi dance !
yeahhhh .
and i love to say ,
NAHINAHI(:
and aiyoyoyoyoyoyo !
even my friends and teachers are addicted to it .
yeahhh(:

and yesterday ,
was AWESOME !
we were doing a ghost trailer .
haha .
and there's bloopers .
hha .
but ,
too bad .
the photos are with lynna .
will try to upload it here .
AND ,
the most random part was when mon thant said ,
im megan fox ?!
haha .
i was laughing like hell when i heard that .

thanks my dearest and bestest friends for making my day everyday ,
you guys make me smile and laugh everday without fail .
a day without you guys are like hell .
when im with you guys , i forgot bout my problems .
eventhough for a while .
sorrey for making
i just wanna say I LOVE YOU GUYS !
referring to LYNNA , NADDIE , FARZANA , RACHEL , PRAVEEN , MON THANT , AMEESHA , ZIQAAH !

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

konichiwa !

see that ?
im trying to follow it .
and ,
1 good thing happen today ,
i din't cry .
yeahh .
but ,
there's still many hours till tomorrow .

im also trying to remember what interesting things that happen in my life .
so that i can smile and laugh .
it sounds kinda krazy but , yeahh .

i want to get up from this nightmare .
i have to stop everything .
i must be strong .
but , yeahhh .
and ,
i suspek muspek that problem will come in at the perfect time .
BUT ,
its okay .
i have to be postive thinkers like my juniors(:
haha .

i know that im the type that think too much .
its just me .
i have been like that since primary skool .
i love to think too much .
and in the end ,
i'll breakdown .
it so silly .
but ,
THATS ME .

i'll change into a better afiqah .
the one who always smile like before .
the one who always laugh for nothing .
the one who loves to talk crap .
the one who talks non-stop .
the one who loves her life .

tillhere~
`ecctardd?

AWESOME !

AWESOME !
i meet almost all the criteria of having depression !

Sadness or hopelessness
Irritability, anger, or hostility
Tearfulness or frequent crying
Withdrawal from friends and family
Loss of interest in activities
Changes in eating and sleeping habits
Restlessness and agitation
Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
Fatigue or lack of energy
Difficulty concentrating
Thoughts of death or suicide

for no. 1 - yeahh , been feeling really sad and hopeless . everything i do is hopeless .
no. 2 - yeahh , been scolding alot of people . sorrey guys .
no. 3 - yeahh . 24 HOURS CRYING .
no. 4 - not too sure for friends . but , for family , it has always been .
no. 5 - yeahh .
no.6 - yeahh .
no.7 - get angry small certain things
no.8 - yeah .
no.9 - yeahh . motivation won't work for me anymore .
no.10 - not sure .
no.11 - yeahh . thats why i screwed alot of my papers .
no.12 - won't tell .

yeahh ,
so IM DEPRESSED !
UGH .

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

im sorrey guys , i'll be fine .
i will (:

UGH .

WHATS WITH LIFE ?
whenever i got the motivation to get up and face the world , the problems will come in at the perfect time and destroy all the motivation .
UGH .

i wrote alot of motivation quotes around me .
in my room , in my diary .
but ,
nothing helps me .

i can't stand it anymore .
when can i smile like how i used too ?
when can i laugh like how i used too ?
when can i stop crying ?
everynight , i breakdown .
even while im walking outside , tears will roll down my cheeks .
UGH .

and ,
i don't call this as moodswings at all .

you may think im emo or something .
but ,
seriously ,
if ur in my position ,
you'll breakdown too .
won't you breadown when ur parents don't care bout you but , cares alot bout ur brother ?
won't you breakdown when ur parents curse at you ?
won't you breakdown when no one cares bout you ?
won't you breakdown when all your family members talk behind your back and all is negative stuff ?
won't you breakdown when you get curse for what you din't do ?
won't you breakdown when a rumours breakout and its like so untrue ?
won't you breakdown when you know that no one wants to listen to you ?
WON'T YOU BREAKDOWN ?
to be frank , there's more .

im trying so hard not to breakdown .
i seriously want to talk to someone .
i don't even mind if its a stranger .
at least , i can tell out all my problems that i kept inside me for so long .
i know i sound desperate and pathetic .
but ,
thats me .

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

even while im writing this , im crying .

something is missing ,

GOOD MORNING(:

today ,
im going out .
yeahhh .
i don't like staying at home .

and ,
i feel so lost .
i have no idea why .
something is missing in my life .
UGH .
what is it ?

p.s
sorrey for the previous post .
i sounded mean .
but , yeahh .
im really pissed off at that time .

tillhere~
`ecctardd?

im scared if its you that is missing in my life .

yeah , YOU !

heyloh people !
sorrey no pics for today .
comp sot .

today was so CHAOTIC !
like seriously .
no need to elaborate .
im so pissed off .
and ,
you can never take back on what you did to me .
yeahhh .
mind that .

andand ,
im just so pathetic .
i can't scold boys .
and i have no idea why .
i don't even scold my own brother and thats why he's rude to me .
and ,
i have a soft heart .
im easily hurt and easily forgive someone eventhough how much that person hurts me .
UGH .
i have no idea whether its a good or a bad thing ?

i have to be more firm in my life or people will hurt and bully me easily .
i just keep quiet and that doesn't mean im not having any grudge against you .

btw ,
i guess i want to private my blog sooner or later .

tillhere~
`ecctardd?

you know i know , i won't forgive you .

MIA-ING ?

heylohpeople !(:

sorrey for MIA-ING for two days .
yeahhh .

last friday was the SPORT CARNIVAL(;
AWESOME !
yeahhh ,
just that it rains ,
awwwwwwwww .
all bcos of lynna who kept singing from the morning .
qrrrrrrrrrrrrrr .
and ,
i LOVE public duty(:
andand ,
lynna said i look like an indonesian spoilt brat .
qrrrrrrrrr .
so random .
i mean like ,
i don't denied that i have a mixture of Indonesian blood .
but ,
IM NOT A SPOILT BRAT !

yesterday ,
went to aunt's house .
skip religious class again .
haha .
went there by taxi .
in the taxi ,
my mum and aunt kept fighting and quarreling .
UGH .
and im in the middle .
i feel like screaming at them .
even the taxi drive can't stand them .
qrrrrrrrrrrrr .
reached there ,
had my lunch .
yeahhh ,
p.s im not like PA .
*WINKWINK*
and i love my kazens .
yeahhh ,
they are all AWEOME PEOPLE .
yeahhhh .
laughed alot .
haha .

afterwards ,
went to little india .
my mum wants to buy a blouse there .
and ,
my kazen was like , 'you want to go and see your uncle right ?'
im like qrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr .

then ,
went to BUGIS(:
my favourite place(:
went there and ,
bought a t-shirt and skinny jeans !
yeahhh ,
thank you auntie !!

and ,
actually ADAM LAMBERT WAS THERE .
and that im late for 20 MINS !
if not , i would have seen him !
UGH .
T.T

went back home after shopping(:

today ,
was thinking of going out .
but ,
suddenly ,
my mood went down .
i have no idea why .
UGH .

sometimes ,
i don't really understand myself .
i have no idea why am i acting like this .
UGH .
i want to talk to someone .
someone who is willing to listen to me .
all of my problems .
UGH .

im breaking down again and this time ,
im not sure why .

how awesome is that ?

heyloh people !

well great ,
im having running nose , my eyes are teary and im having sore throat .
UGH.
tomorrow is sport carnival and im sick .
how awesome is that ?
ugh .

today was AWESOMMEEEEEE !
yeah .
just skip to the part where we learn a new dance .
i mean BOLLYWOOD DANCE !
yeah(:
its so FUNNN !
haha .
we were singing randomly as a class .
haha .
its supposed to be OM SHANTI OM not OH SHANTI OH .
(:
had a GREAT TIME .

after skool ,
went to watch the softball match to support farzana .
only half of it .
haha .
i get frustrated cos i still don't understand on how they score points .
so , went to canteen .
actually i wanted to stay till 5pm .
but , rachel was like telling me that im sick and that i need to rest .
so , i went home .
instead of resting , in blogging(:
yeah .

andand ,
im hoping that by tomorrow , im fine and no running nose , no teary eyes and no sore throat !
pleasepleaseplease !!

and ,
me , lynna and rachel have come up with a class cheer(:
yeah .
gonna tell the classs tomorrow .

tillhere~
`ecctardd?

finally , the burden is off my shoulder .

i won't .

heyloh people !

so , today was again BOOMZ !!
like yeah .

just that i was having bad mood in the morning .
afterwards , i was LMAO-ING till i reached home .
haha .
weird much ?
thats me(:

andand ,
im in love with softball !
i mean only the pitching part .
yeah .
was trying out at the parade square while rachel , lynna and praveen was chasing after each other for something ?
haha .

st john ,
was also BOOMZ !
yeah .
just that , the guy that kawl-ed me intan din't come .
awwww .
and ,
i just can't stand sharvin !
haha .
yeah .
he's so weird !
and ,
when Mr Low was kawling his name ,
i LAUGHED .
haha .

after st john ,
i heard someone kawl-ing my name .
and i saw someone waving .
i din't wear my specs so , i can't see .
so , i assume its my fwen and that i wave at that someone .
actually ,
that someone was waving to atiqah .
i was like WHUART ?!
i scream out loud !
yeah .
im so paiseh .
UGH .

afterwards ,
went to 7-eleven block and hangout till 7:30pm .
afterwards ,
went home with hui min .

andand ,
ZOE , YOU RAWKS !
haha .
and LYNNA.B RAWKS TOO !

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

i won't be lying to myself anymore .

wondering ?

hihihihihihihihihi !(:

my cheeks is soooo chubby !

sorrey for not updating yesterday .
was busy with projects .
UGH .

so , today was also BOOMZ !
just that i was quite moody during PE .
its like sooo HOT !
qrrrrrrrrr .

after skool ,
went to comp lab 1 to do the IT enrichment project .
UGH .
its sooooooooooooooooo not needed .
i hate IT enrichments .
qrrrrrrrrr .

andand ,
3 MORE DAYS TO SPORT CARNIVAL !*(SB)*
YEAH !
gonna save my energy and voice for the sport carnival ,
im so not going to scream and shout till sport carnival .
yeah !
its like the last time we play as 2.8 ):

and thanks to amin , i smell like a boy because of ur deodorant ,
and also thanks to me , you smell like a girl because of my deodorant(:

andand ,
projects are pilling up .
UGH .
i wonder how tall will it be ?

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

people always say that love is not about possess but , they just said that to make the loser feels better .
but , seriously ,
it's not helping .

yeah ,

hellohellohellohellohello(:
IM BACK .

nothing much happen yesterday .
just that ,
i skipped my religious class(:
yeah .

today ,
soooo BOOMZ !
my auntie came and we talk bout her and my past .
haha .
only one word : BOOMZ !
and got alot of keching$ !
and going to treat nad ice-cream .
yeah .

currently talking to nad who in love with ultra volume mascara otp .
gossiping !
yeah .

IM SERIOUSLY IN LOVE WITH TUMBLR !
i like to show my feeelings and emotions through pictures instead of saying it out .

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

i don't need a guy to make things happen

heyloh people!!(:

today was AWESOME AND BOOMZ !
yeah(:
just that ,
during malay lesson ,
i was so pissed off .
bcos my malay teacher accused me for somethinq that i never did !
qrrrrrrrrr .

andand ,
i wanna say that praveen and farzana , watch out for what is going to happen on monday !
qrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ,

after skool ,
i went back home straight with izalia .
my fwens just can't believe that im going back that early .
haha .
yeah , me too .
i love to hangout but ,
i have to go home and take care of my brother .

outside skool ,
i realised that my phone was missing .
and i know that its either praveen or farzana who took my phone bocs this is not the ferst time my hp went MIA .
went inside skool and search for farzana and praveen .
saw them and farzana ran away quickly .
so ,
i went and ran after her .
and about a few minutes later ,
i found out that its not her that took my hp and that is praveen .
qrrrrrrrrr ,
wasted my energy !
chased after praveen .
i was shouting , "give me back my phone !"
qrrrrrr ,
i took both my shoes off and was about to throw at praveen when i realised that one of my socks has a big hole that is exposing my toes !
was so paiseh , threw the idea straightaway and wear my shoes quickly .
haha .
after a longlong time chasing after him ,
he qave me .
at last !
yeah .
now i know how rachel feels like .
haha .

then ,
went back home straightaway .
yeah(;

currently ,
im sooo bored !

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

don't show me that face ,

imback(:

heyloh people !(;
im back with a smiley face(:

so ,
today is exceptionally FUN !!(;
yeah .

andand ,
im sooo in love with tumblr !
haha .
i mean ,
i prefer to express my feelings through pictures than talking .
yeah .

and ,
projects and homeworks are once again ,
making me crazy !
alot of them are due either by monday or tuesday .
UGH .

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

whereareyou?

projectsdrivinqmecrazy

tuesday-3:18pm

heylohpeople !

so , today is quite fun !
haha ,

until ,
i knew that my bro fractured his wrist !
eww !
i saw his wrist and i was like wth?
what happened ?
and he looks so weak like qonna faint any moment .
and ,
his classmates said that he run backwards and fell down and fractured his wrist during pe lesson .
im like , why is he running backwards ?
so ,
he was sent to hospital by ambulance .
my mum and father went there .
and im not .
qrrrrr ,
i wanted to .
but , i can't .
i felt quite sad for him .
i mean i can't forqet his face .
he looks so weak .

currently in school computer lab ,
doing my geography project with my team .

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

imspeechless

imlost .

konichiwa !

so , as i expected .
i screwed my math , malay and chinese test .
UGH.

i seriously have noidea what happened to me?
i mean like ,
i've been really slacking for the past two months .
im not concentrating in class .
its either i will fall asleep or i will be in my own lala land .
UGH.
I JUST WANT THE OLD ME !
the one who always helps everyone when in need , the one who will do homework after she reached home , the one who is not addicted to facebookinq and chattinq , the one who pays attention in class , the one who rarely slack .
if i was the old me , i'll be doing my homework now till 12 mindniqht and not facebookinq and chattinq .
in summary ,
I JUST WANT THE OLD ME !

i had enough of problems in school and when i reached home ,
there's another problem .
UGH .
my parents will be scolding me for little stuffs .
UGH .
like what amin said ,
my life is chaotic .
and yesh it is .

tillhere~
`eccatardd?

whatshouldido?

[S]halalalalalala.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

[T]hat little miss sunshine.

I believe in fairytales & happily ever after and ,
I am a hopeless romantic.

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